I've recently had to deal with
a trial that forced me to make a choice: to either react, or to act. As a
missionary, the world has its eye on you, for good or for evil. The members
expect you to be a source of strength for their children and for their friends,
and the investigators expect you to have all the answers and show them that
things will always be okay. It took a lot of strength for me to do this. To
hide my true emotions from the world and continue to strengthen people when I
had none for myself. But despite this, I knew what I had to do. Even though I
felt alone, I stood up. I put the tag on, and I went out to strengthen the
world. This act alone was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But I
learned something by this ordeal. I learned that our Heavenly Father loves us
more than we can ever imagine.
In a talk many, many years ago
by someone I can't even remember, the speaker talks about how Heavenly Father
will often cut us down and bring us low in order to truly bring forth good
fruit, much like an orchard farmer must trim the trees every year in order to
produce the crop. He talks about how the trees at the time of the trimming
cannot understand why the farmer would cut them down. Despite the growth they
made, the farmer must cut them down in order for the fruit to come forth. So
our Heavenly Father has dealt with me. I felt like I was growing so well on my
mission. I had made such wonderful growth, and then I was cut down. From the
talk, the Father's reply to all of this is, "I'm the farmer here, I know
where you are and I know what I want you to be. If I had let you grow the way you had wanted,
you'll never amount to anything. But someday, when you are laden with fruit,
you will say, "Thank you Mr. Farmer, for cutting me down, for loving me
enough to hurt me."
The adversary would like to
fight against God's plan. He whispered to me that because I had been cut down
and trodden over, that this meant that I was a failure, and that God had cut me
down because I could not reach the expectations set for me. I realize now that
he was a liar, and that the choice is to act. Not to react. I know why I am
here in Colorado. I am a missionary set apart to preach the gospel and
administer in the ordinances thereof.
Thank you so much everyone for
all of the prayers and the support.
Elder Bringhurst
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